I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
