stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
