can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
