i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
