Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
