I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
