The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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