We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
