I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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