North Korea, Best Korea!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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