I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
