This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
