Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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