the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
