Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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