i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
worst night to have a conscience
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
