you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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