Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
