there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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