your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
