Your tits are I can't wait for
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
