Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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