Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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