Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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