Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
