watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
