I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
