I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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