yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
