I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
