Jerry, you need to find god
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
