just tell him i said nine months
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
