You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
