i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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