cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
