sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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