Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
