I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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