I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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