butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Randomize
