turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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