At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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