First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
