what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There r osticjed everywhere
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
