rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
