Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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