Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
