Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
