i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
