Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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